Hey Florida! Here’s another reason your state sucks!

I thought, in the middle of this political fecal typhoon called “election year,” I had seen the epitome of stupid.  We’ve got window-licking assjacks trying to assert that rape is a gift from God, or that a woman can’t get pregnant from rape.  We’ve got other cadres of idiots trying to equate Romney (and his supporters) to Hitler and those people constantly waving “hi” to him.  Oh yeah, those were Nazis.  Apparently the aura of stupid surrounding every media outlet is rubbing off on even me.  Couldn’t remember they were Nazis.  Anyway, they couldn’t possibly be Nazis, because those guys knew how to organize and motivate.  Feel me?

However, just when I thought I couldn’t be exposed to any more stupid, Florida reared its cancer-riddled head and decided to step up its game.  Florida, you should have just stuck to what you’re good at– reeking of formaldehyde.

NO! NO! Bad state! Bad! Bring Daytona Beach back to its former glory and MAYBE we’ll talk.

That’s right, Florida– the land of recounts and hanging chads– has done it again and proven why we should have let the Spanish keep it.   Let me be one of the many to say this, “Governor Scott, please find the nearest fire and feel free to die in it.”  For those of you unaware– read this.  I’ll wait.

Now don’t try and scream out, “But it’s the task force that said it, not the governor!”  Who do you think appointed the damn task force?  That’s right, it was Scott.  If you don’t think that he hasn’t appointed those with like opinions/views– you’re probably a fan of Rick Santorum.  In fact, close this right now– because it’ll probably be above your intellectual level.

Now that we’ve cleared out the idiots– this kind of thinking may seem fiscally responsible on the surface.  But yeah, let’s see where this leads.  Penalize students that want to learn about history, the arts, psychology, or anthropology.  You think that YOLO is some seriously annoying bullshit now?  Yeah let’s see what happens a few years down the road.

These will be considered “highbrow” entertainment– instead of being pointed out for the mind-numbing piles of fail that they are. Go ahead, minimize history, art, and thought. See what happens, assjacks.

If you lack the brains to realize what this is, let me stop right here and tell you to shoot yourself in the face. Flooding the workforce with “desired” professions is going to give you a lot of unemployed scientists.  Are you guys in Florida complete jacktards?  Supply and demand.  You don’t have an even balance of jobs, wow… that’s precious, what state does?  However, to have a student pay more to get a degree in a field that has fewer opportunities is… well reactionary and stupid.  Yes, let’s profit from someone who will have less of a chance of putting money back in the system.  That makes sense.

If you want more scientists, mathematicians, teachers, and doctors– how about incentives instead of penalties?  Do you really want more technically-educated dipshits who can’t string together a coherent sentence?  Do we really want to facilitate our society’s progress towards textspeak?

They do in Florida– you know, where you can kill your kid and get away with it.

Flood the market, kill the opportunities.  Strangle the humanities, and welcome in a new definition of cultural backslide.  Here’s to hoping their recommendations end up like a homeless man on a bypass– chewed up by a tweaker on bath salts.

Idiots.

Unplug.

The Social Benefits of Mocking Stupid People

There’s a huge difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.

If you still don’t know where this is about to go, please go find the nearest open fire and feel free to die in it.  We don’t need any more glorified neanderthals kicking around– further mucking up the place.  You’re the reason why we can’t have nice things– because everything needs to cater to the dumb.  With that said… today’s rant of love is dedicated to the Spelling Nazis, the Grammar Nazis, and similar forms of trolling.  Your ability to shame the stupid might succeed where education has apparently failed.

A picture’s worth a thousand words, right? Nothing sucks the potency out of an argument like abject stupidity. (In case you were wondering, yeah— I took this picture… and shopped it just for you.)

“No Child Left Behind” is a failure in every sense of the term.  In fact, let’s back up a second and really loose (not lose) a broadside at the decaying corpse of American education.  When “educators” started giving a damn about a kid’s self-esteem, instead of paying attention to whether the kid needed a diagram to find their own assholes (right over there), they stopped being teachers and became arrogant guidance counselors with inflated senses of importance.

Newsflash, jacktards, fail the kid who can’t read/write (Hell, pick any subject for that matter) until they can— because sometimes shame is an amazingly powerful motivator.  Don’t want to be the kid that got held back?  It’s called study, and don’t waste your time spuriously screaming racial and homophobic epithets into your game headset.  After all, it’s not like we can force the parents that forgot to wear a condom in the first place to take some responsibility for their breathing miscarriage.  I know– God forbid the parents‘ greatest mistake be pointed out for what they are.  It’s society’s problem, right Baby Boomers?  It takes a village, right, Baby Boomers?  Since I’m taking the time to point out the agonizingly obvious for those less fortunate– no, it doesn’t.  It takes a parent (works even better if there’s two) to raise a child, and empowered teachers to make them useful members of society.

Well we self-respecting Grammar/Spelling Nazis (and trolls of similar avocations who enjoy mocking the voluntarily ignorant) are also members of society, and reject all acts that enable the stupid to exist in peace and bliss.

There’s no excuse for this.

If you know someone who has an issue with word usage, and I’m sure at least 3/4 of the people reading this do, do them a favor and mock the stupid out of them.  If you aren’t forced to know how to speak fluent typo (or textspeak– whatever term tickles your brain), you’re either A:  an intellectual snob (which makes you lucky) or B: you just might be part of the problem.

So yeah, as a society, let’s keep focusing on swag— and not on worth.  We’ll see how long the USA can continue their classification as a “first world country.”

For those of us left who still have appreciation for mankind’s advancements, here’s a little tidbit that inexplicably escaped front page news:  Curiosity found evidence of water on Mars.

Anyone else feeling like moving?

Unplug.