This is the way the world ends.

Posted: December 11, 2015 in Rant, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

So it’s been over a year since I’ve been on the blog, but hey– whatever.

I saw something last night that didn’t just set dominoes falling in my head, it rage-flipped the table and hit me with a chair.  Concussive realization aside, it all comes down to one thing: World War Fucking Three.

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…and then it all went dark.

Yes, this sounds a bit tinfoil hat at first, but stay with me.  A couple weeks ago, I stumbled across an article online that floored me.  Giovanni Gambino, yes one of those Gambinos, told NBC that “the rise of global terrorism gives the Mafia a chance to show its good side. … We make sure our friends and families are protected from extremists and terrorists, especially … the Islamic State.”

Well, historically speaking, the Mafia was supposed to protect their own from the abuses of others– among other things.   Hearing the son of the Teflon Don making a bold comment like that on a mainstream media source gave me a huge grin.  Yes, every last one of my great grandparents came from Italy, and no— I actually have no clue how to get in with La Cosa Nostra.  I know, I’m disappointed too.

Looking at it from the outside, a famously criminal organization is better suited to tackling another such organization.  Naturally, thanks to my heritage, I grinned and drank my wine thinking about how profound his commentary was.  Guy’s smart, and his points were valid.  There are certain kinds of things that no amount of surveillance can unearth.  You need to know how to look, and know people who know people.

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Makes sense, right?

Yesterday, I came across a series of articles where El Chapo (the head of the notorious Sinaloa Cartel) had some choice words for Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi– and although they ended up being false… well here’s the thing: pit a ruthless cartel that gives fewer fucks about collateral damage than China (a nation ISIS has also managed to piss off) against a ragtag group of fanatical assholes… and well… I’m not the only one who would be positively throbbing to watch it go down.

Why?  Because fuck yeah, these guys play by the same lack of rules– which boil down to one premise.

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— and everything you hold dear.  Really anything around your general vicinity.

That kind of no-Geneva Conventions firefight would be precisely what it would take to eradicate ISIS.  Right?  Right?

That’s when it dawned on me.  This is how World War 3 kicks off.

Think about it this way.

  • ISIS has pissed off pretty much all of Western civilization (I’m including Russia in this lump sum).
  • ISIS has also pissed off China.  Big Red doesn’t come into this equation just yet.
  • ISIS has pissed off La Cosa Nostra.  The days of Capone may be long gone, but if you think the Mafia is out of cement overshoes– you’re just dumb.
  • If ISIS fucks with the Sinaloa Cartel’s operations, or even has the ability to compete, I’m pretty sure El Chapo will react as the now-debunked reports depicted.
  • ISIS lacks popular/global Muslim support because fuck those guys, they don’t speak for Islam.  They look at those Daeshbags the same way Christians look at the Westboro Baptist Church.  (Yes, I realize WBC doesn’t kill people, but they’re still sanctimonious fuckpiles of shit stew that would have served the world better as a stain on their parents’ mattress.)  In fact, ISIS kills more Muslims than anybody else.  Then again, considering their “home turf,” this should pose no surprise.

Now you’re saying, “Yeah, we get it, fuck those guys in particular. What’s the point?”

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With the exception of Big Red, class, what religion is generally associated with the aforementioned nations/organizations?  If you said Christianity, you’ve just found the lynch pin I was going for.  Let’s say Daesh does piss off El Chapo… and the Sinaloa Cartel decides to hatefuck them with a steel pineapple.  The day Santa Muerte starts soaking sand with blood, the terrorists will make it out to be a Christian vs Muslim thing.

Ponder this for a few hours.

The common attitude towards this particular cadre of assjacks is pretty well known.  Let’s play a probable hypothetical situation here.  If a cartel decides to take a plane full of whoop ass overseas, it will take a token bribe at best to have law enforcement look the other way.  Why?  Because everyone is saying, “Fuck those guys in particular.”  See a pattern yet?  Good.

These guys have fewer fucks to give about a little thing called “collateral damage” than Big Red.  You get a war party of contract killers together, and now send them on a no-holds-barred fragfest somewhere far from home.  How many are going to know how to speak any of the languages over there?  If you answered “probably none,” you already see where this is going.  They’re not going to try and root out those Daeshbags with any sort of delicacy.  Nope.  They’re going to fight every bit as dirty as those Daeshbags– which is appallingly thrilling on a visceral level.  Because fuck those guys right?  Except this kind of insurrection is exactly what they want.

Those bastards are going to call it another fucking crusade… and they’re going to call for a plausible jihad that many otherwise-peaceful people will blindly follow.  Think about how many players are in town right now.  Big Red and Russia have oil interests, with Russia spanking the shit out of both rebels and Daeshbags.  Oh wait, Turkey just shot down a Russian jet, and apparently they’re on the same side as us– whatever the fuck that is. Pretty much anyone with a bomber is hammering Syria with anything they can get their hands on.  It’s already a fucking war zone, and everyone’s already scared, pissed off, or both.

All of the rules of engagement would go sideways at that point, because when you live in a shitty, bombed-out country… your life flat out sucks in ways neither you or I can comprehend.  Suddenly assholes from across the Atlantic show up, and prove that those crazy “fundamentalist” assholes that were killing your neighbors were right all along.  Boom.  You have a front that will rapidly rise, and will see both the whoop-ass squad and the foreign militaries in the same light: as crusaders.  You have to protect your own, right?

This is how war starts.  I’m not talking the kind of war that has been fought over the past 70 years.  That’s timid compared to what would happen… battlefields on a scale not seen since WW2.  Not to mention, a totality not seen since… oh… the last of The Crusades.  By the way, the F-35 can’t dogfight or much of anything else.

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Tell me I’m wrong.  No, seriously, with the cards already on the table– and knowing what complete assholes people generally are these days…  It doesn’t take very much of a stretch of imagination to see how this could all get much, much uglier.

Right now, I am glad that I’m too old to draft… the The Force Awakens in less than a week.  Time’s on my side for this one…

Unplug.

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