Posts Tagged ‘training’

They say that while searching for a job, you need to find purpose– or create documented results for the time spent.  Well no shit, ladies and germs, because otherwise you’ll go full-on Gary Busey watching your email box get the occasional denial-of-employment letter from an automated system– and nothing else (unless you’re me, and you get a glimmer of hope).  Something has to drown out the sounds of your bank account starving to death like it’s in a goddamn Sarah McLachlan commercial, and knowing you’re too broke to justify getting shitfaced, you need to find other diversions.

Since Cortana and I are getting married in less than 3 months, I’ve turned gym rat again– because after all, being a stupidly hot groom is a totally viable wedding expense.  Not to mention, we’ve got another Tough Mudder coming up in August.

This does, however, raise a bit of a problem.  Jill 2.0 still acts like a Rice Krispy Treat, and she’s done her fair share of hampering my workouts.

The gap...

Remember this?  Atrophy’s a bitch, even a year and a half later.

That said, I’m hovering around a quasi-lean 172lbs and getting stronger every day– with or without Jill 2.0’s help.  Something tells me that I’m going to not be down to my target of 165 by Old Heads Night Out III.  That said, there’s also another reason for it– I’m sizing up again, not just focusing on cutting fat, so I can’t get an accurate grasp of my gains/losses with just a mere scale.

But here’s where it gets weird, and this is me almost mocking myself with the realization.  Bear with me.  Trying to go to the gym every day, sometimes twice a day, kinda sucks when we’re getting a decent winter.  It takes some motivation to even get my ass out the door, I’ll admit it.  So, thanks to YouTube, I’ve been watching a lot of Dragonball Z, and Dragonball Z Abridged.

Stop laughing, I’m not done yet.

This gets better… or worse, I’m not sure yet.

Some of you are asking yourselves what character is my favorite.  There are a few of you who just realized that I was right when I said that this gets better.  So seriously, stop laughing.  I’m just warming up.

Oh yeah, the character.  I almost forgot.

Boom, bitch.

It’s not funny yet. Trust me. This is just the set up.

Yeah, this kind of ties back to my “that guy” moment, but still.  Hold your laughter.

So, Cortana’s “motivating show” is “The Biggest Loser” because it’s inspiring.  I will admit, because of her, I watch it– and that’s all I’m going to own up to.  The thought that just flipped through your head as you looked up at the picture, and back again, is partially correct.  Again, it’s not funny yet.  I’m getting there.  Patience.

However, yes, my motivator is that guy up there.  I go snap-crackle-pop at the gym, and I keep going.  I actively want a freaking gravity room.  Stop laughing, you can’t judge me yet.  I get mad because I can’t push myself hard enough because of Jill 2.0’s persistent wusstacular nature.  Why?  Because I want that build for the next Mudder.  Oh yeah, I want Vegeta’s build to run the Pittsburgh Mudder.

Dammit, people, slow your roll–  I know I’m 5″ taller than he is without the hair.

Now you can start laughing… but keep it to the “oh holy shitnuggets” chuckle, because we’re not quite to the funny part yet.

So yeah, I’ve set myself a body-image goal that is almost unattainable (especially considering that I like my dick original size, so ‘roids are completely out).   Now, we couple it with the fact that to be one of T.H.E.M., you have to wear the jersey…

Yo quiero 1-6-0....

That’s right, I tapped in to Maxie last year. If you don’t get the reference, that’s all well and good… for now.

This year, the other captains realized that all black doesn’t attract the attention of the photographers very well, so we’re possibly opting for hot pink.  I had no part in this decision making process, but I wholeheartedly support it…  Why?

It feeds into this:

Yep...  you're starting to get the idea.

Playing connect the dots yet?  If so, you’ve already figured out that I’m already devising a way to make a foam wig– and keeping it stuck to my noggin.

That’s right, I’m all for it because it plays perfectly into the original idea.  I want an anime build akin to the Saiyan Prince up there to run the Mudder…  why, you ask?  Wait, you’ve stopped laughing long enough to ask why?

All for a picture:  when I go off the obstacle entitled “Walk the Plank,” I’m going to be falling in a 3/4 dive… so that I can time the perfect freaking DBZ punch to impact the surface of the water.

Narcissism aside (or I should say, at the forefront), I derive this motivation and goal just for the most epic cosplay picture ever taken.

Now… you can laugh.

I am.
Now Jill 2.0 had better get on board with the plan, because failure’s not an option– and no matter what, the physical result will be sweeeeeeet.

Unplug.

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