Depressurizing the Noggin

Posted: August 24, 2014 in Rant
Tags: , , ,

Well, half of my skull has business as usual– no issues no nothing.  The other half feels like I got cracked upside the head with Mr. Chin-Up-Bar.  I’ve hit this bastard with sinus meds, migraine meds, and comfort food.  Unfortunately, I can’t shake that bullet loose that’s keeping the cracks open– so let’s depressurize the whole thing with my favorite past time: venting!

Buckle up, this might get brutal.

HERE WE GO, BITCHES!

… and you all know I’m a mean motherfucker when I’ve got a headache.

Should I do a bullet list?  Yeah, why not, it’s not like I can be paid to give a rat’s ass right about now.  I’d bite the face off the Incredible Hulk if he made this headache worse.  I’d probably get utterly Loki-ed afterward, but after getting my head smashed– at least the headache would be gone.

  • If people spent as much time improving themselves as they do bitching about [insert popular -ism complaint here], maybe they’d make some actual fucking headway with life instead of sounding like a crybaby asshole.  Seriously, fecklessly trumpeted rhetoric is as useless as a dick on an air conditioner– and everyone is tired of hearing it.
  • This is the 21st fucking century; there are free literacy programs everywhere.  If you can’t read, you aren’t trying to learn.  If you aren’t trying to learn, go buy a Robin Williams Necktie and quit wasting space for everyone else.
  • I don’t believe that human life has intrinsic value.  I have an unhealthy contempt for humanity until I actually meet them face to face, and they prove they aren’t like the rest.  This may only take an initial “hello,” but without that differentiating moment– you can go skydiving without a parachute for all I care.  The only attention you’ll get from me is watching the splat video– after all, there are billions left to replace you.
  • There’s no difference between extreme-left libtards and extreme-right teabaggers…. except teabagging is fucking hilarious, so their “derisive” nickname is better.
  • Acceptance of willing/deliberate stupidity is the downfall of society.  Hooray for “no child left behind,” huh?
  • We need to legalize sword dueling.  Think about how much of the douchebag population would be dead inside of a week.  Not to mention– I’d rack up an impressive body count, and my stress levels would go through the floor.
  • People will not develop ambition when failure is rewarded.  Anyone who says otherwise is either incredibly stupid or mentally ill.  Nobody will try when they don’t have to.
  • Dudes should shut the fuck up about women’s reproductive issues.  Unless you’ve got a vag– the only opinion you have is the flavor you like best.
  • If the US Government spent half as much time and money on the American people as it does swinging its collective dick around the globe, social problems would actually be dealt with.  They aren’t because social problems are what keep the system moving.
  • Animal testing is obsolete– we have a lot of pedos and other violent sex offenders who should be experimented on instead.  At least that way we can get shit to the open market faster since we will know what the shit does to people from moment one.
Yeah.  Yeah I did.

On the upside, my headache’s all but gone.

Now… I feel a little better.  Depressurization goes a long way, right?

Unplug.

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