A word of wisdom… maybe two…

Posted: November 27, 2013 in Self-Deprecation, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Karma has a bizarre sense of humor.  You see, back in college, I had a litany of stereotypical “guy apartments.”  Yes, these bachelor pads were a vulgar display of foul– at least by my standards now.  Yeah, I’ve since discovered a rather hilarious side-effect of getting old.  You develop standards.

Either that, or you’re actually sober long enough to give a shit that you can’t find anything when you want it.

This was clean by our standards.  This was also not my apartment.

Cute little devil, wasn’t I? Behold a “clean” party pad.

So my living arrangements were less than what could be passed for as true grunge, but they definitely had their moments.  Naturally, my roomies and I became quite adept at a little game called trash can jenga.  In summer, few fucks were given over the game because who cares– but in winter?  That’s when shit got cut throat.

I, however, worked as a waiter… and as a bar tender… so on top of the inhuman skills developed as a TKE– I was also trained as a professional.  So I thought I was the best there was when it came to the game of games.  I actually thought I was in the top tier of all that played; all we dexterous slackers were on a previously unrealized level of skillful laziness.

Seriously, wastebin jenga is like bumper bowling-- hella fun, but impossible to suck at.

Hackneyed and amateur by the standards of old.

Imagine my chagrin when I discovered that Cortana, hands down, pwns me at this game with extreme prejudice and authority.  Consider the brain-poking madness of such unfathomed fuckery and hysterical karmic irony.  Granted, it isn’t taken to Olympic levels anymore– this isn’t college.  That’s not to say that the game still isn’t played, even if with more subtlety and maddening grace.

The moral of the story: even if for your own sanity, determine whether or not your mate is better than you are at trash can jenga.  Then determine if you are the one on carry-out detail.  If they are better than you, and you take it out– for the love of all that is boozoholic and sane…  realize that there is madness in your future.

… then again, I didn’t have too far to go in the first place.



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