Guess it’s time to grab the vaseline–

Posted: June 13, 2013 in Rant
Tags: , , , , , ,

— because ladies and gents, we are collectively about to get screwed.  This isn’t a slow comfortable screw against the wall, nor is it sex on the beach, nor any other deliciously alcoholic double entendre.  For those of you living under a rock, or locked in to reality TV, grab your vaseline– because we’re collectively on course to get prison fucked with a table leg.  Was that an uncomfortable mental image?  Good– because that’s about how I felt when I heard about Skynet–  erhm, I mean PRISM.

Seriously, I was gonna grab my tinfoil for which to fashion a jaunty cap– but then I realized that things as arbitrarily random as my sext life have been entertaining the fucking NSA for free since possibly 2008.  Do I need to slow this down for the No-child-left-behind kids?  Let me put this in literary terms:  George Orwell was a fucking Time Lord and 1984 is his documentary and warning.

Yes, my friends, welcome to the United States of Orwellian Hell– because those same Baby Boomers that were outraged by the Nixonian wiretaps of Watergate have once again played the selective hypocrisy card and done something 1000x worse.  It almost makes me happy to know that Social Security is going to eat shit right when the brunt of them will need it most.

Hi NSA!!

It wasn’t supposed to be a blueprint, you assjacks!

First the IRS demonstrates that it is not a collection of soulless beancounters from Hell, which makes us wonder how well the audit process really works– now we’ve got the NSA collecting zettabytes worth of data on innocent people.  I’m a goddamn tech nut and I hadn’t even heard of a zettabyte until this whirling shitstorm of police-state transgressions kicked up– but to put it in perspective:  If a terabyte is two steps above a megabyte…  a zettabyte is two steps above a terabyte.  For those of you bad with numbers— a zettabyte is a billion fucking terabytes.  Yes, that’s a lot of porn.

They say this is to protect national security, right?  The ends justify the means, right?  If you are in that camp of delusional assjacks: fuck you and the mother that didn’t swallow your genetic material when she had the opportunity.

The reason I say this is because if PRISM actually caught terrorists, there’d be a lot of people in Boston who’d still have limbs and lives.

Yeah, totally went there– because it’s true.  Any and all arguments to the contrary are hereby invalid.

Yup.  We're fucked.

Continually at war? Check. Freedom? Under attack. Ignorance? Bitch please, this is America– we’ve got the market *cornered* on the willingly ignorant and deliberately stupid.

Sure, we can get everyone all sorts of pissed off– and the media broadcasting it to death– when someone’s right to pack heat is called into question.  However, lemme introduce you to my good buddy: The Fourth Fucking Amendment.  Take it away, Quattro!

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Just because some of my effects happen to be stored and conveyed by electromagnetic means, as opposed to paper and pencil, does not mean it’s fair game to be collected for “security” purposes.  It’s about as clear as Swarovski crystal, people: you need a warrant to search and otherwise wiretap anyone.

You know what the really fucked up part is?  Nobody would have heard a damn word if it weren’t for Snowden, perhaps the last guy on the inside to have any sort of scruples.  Now you’ve got more of these ‘tards up top like Boehner and Feinstein who are calling him a traitor and want him prosecuted–  excuse me, but didn’t you all swear an oath to defend and uphold the Constitution of the United States?!  Newsflash, assjacks, that’s the whole damn thing, not what you deem convenient at the time.  Then again, when you’ve got a media that’s covering the idiots running the show– the criminals keep on with business as usual.

This is why we can’t have nice things, because the laws don’t apply when the branches of government collectively don’t give a shit– and the media has everyone busy watching the finger-pointing blame-game puppet show.

I’ll be right back, who the fuck’s knocking on my door?


  1. […] screw murder, the bigwigs can take a shit on the Constitution with things like PRISM and nobody bats an eye.  However, I digress, I got carried away with my metaphorical assault.  […]

  2. […] not like we don’t have enough to not report on… you know, corruption on Capitol Hill, NSA overreach, Russians in Crimea (what century is […]

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