Special thanks to WhoreBot…

Posted: March 7, 2013 in Self-Deprecation
Tags: , , , , , ,

It’s no secret that WordPress allows me to see what search engines, and more specifically which searches, lead wayward surfers to my corner of madness.  Thanks to these stats, I’ve found a useful purpose for the FlirtChat bot– generating gratuitous traffic.  No freaking joke, I get more hits (probably from other digital floozies looking for tips) thanks to my tales of WhoreBot’s feeble attempts to give my computer digital AIDS.  Granted, such enticements of private camera boobies work on society’s more intelligent miscarriages; otherwise– who’d waste their time programming a digital skank with less personality than a lobotomy patient?  (Answer:  nobody)

Seriously, if you aren’t able to garner female affections– isn’t that what porn’s for?  Moreover, why would you trust these kinds of enticements via MSN and other chat programs?  You know what?  I’m not going to try speculating further; I might get some of the stupid on me.  Digression aside, the “recording” of WhoreBot is doing an arguably better job directing random traffic my way than she is spreading her binary herpegonnasyphilaids.

Put 'em to work, Bender!

“Obviously I need floozies! Let’s roll!”

So, ready for the punchline?  I appear to be getting more automated hits than I am actual readers (I can’t seriously be getting this much legitimate traffic from Malaysia and Indonesia).  It might be different if WordPress actually fixed the pervasive topic tag issue (instead of compulsively locking every damn support query about the issue), but hey– what can I ask for?  At least I have a few dozen loyal readers, and I’ve got WhoreBot doing work to keep the eg0-feeding hits rolling in.

The Rock may have millions and millions…  but like Mick Foley, I’ve got dozens and dozens.

Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, and I’ll take it.
Now if only Cracked would get off their asses and publish what they already paid for.

Unplug.

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