Of Sanctimony, Hypocrisy, and Food

Posted: January 31, 2013 in Rant
Tags: , , ,

My day was brought to a screeching halt by a blast from the past.  Many moons ago (and perhaps even in my near future), I ran tables and/or slung drinks to make ends meet.  Granted, waiting is a job that has its ups and downs because people have the tendency to be bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.  In fact, I forged my delightful sense of misanthropy while working in restaurants– only to have it redefined while working at the job that cost me Jill.  By the way, that job involved taking away things from people who didn’t pay for them.

Digression aside, being a waiter and a bartender for the majority of my collegiate tenure (and yes, I should have been given tenure) has left me with a great deal of patience and understanding when I go out to eat– tip wise.  Sure, like other veterans of the industry, I invariably compare the server/bartender to my own skills– but when it comes down to paying… well I remember what it was like, so you have to be just short of a walking abortion sprayed by skunks for me to tip under 15%.

I think it’s happened twice… ever… and I was still embarrassed even though it was justified.  Now, here’s where I’m going on the offensive– because my latent server rage has been sparked.


… I don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s not on the damn menu!  I’ll have a double!!!

What I read today went well above and beyond the normal douchebaggery and into that of legendary hypocrisy.  I mean seriously, in these here United States– servers and bartenders get shat on for $2.83 an hour (on average), and make a living on their tips.  Every cent they are tipped is how they pay their bills, because their paychecks are nonexistent.

This fact is common knowledge among the general public, and among the visitors from other countries– where servers and barkeeps make real wages (but this is another rant entirely).  These facts known, a pastor decided to up the douche factor to 11 after a trip to Assholebees.

Check out this sanctimonious bullshit.

No, this isn't a joke.

There is one way to take this. This is a deliberate insult. The post-haste apology, laden with lies, fools only the sheeple that you preached to, “Pastor” Alois Bell.

Further exposition aside, let’s break out the cannons, shall we?  “Pastor” Alois Bell, you took the time to highlight your hypocrisy by adding your title after signing your  name.  Think about it, there’s no reason to sign “pastor” like that unless it was added as a sanctimonious afterthought.  So seriously, her little lip-service “apology”– total bullshit.  Usually you have to watch bad wrestling to find acting this transparent– and the internet thought so too.  Check out the overwhelming response on her page—  oh wait, it’s gone.  (Yes, I’m kicking myself for not screencapping it earlier today.  My apologies.)

I wonder who took the listing down, Ms. Bell or the site administrator?  Money is not on the administrator because her church’s website is strangely missing too.  This “pastor” is doing damage control on her own behalf, and for no other reason.  Before we get up in arms that this Alois Bell is helping to guide the hearts and minds of a congregation– she was only leading the gullible minds of less than 20 people (according to The Smoking Gun).  Sounds to me like she used her “church” as a tax dodge, and signed up friends and family to get a congregation.  Now that her hypocrisy is up, look what’s missing– almost everything that could wag a finger at her.  My my.

So really, Alois?  This is your apology, when your initial shitfit got the waitress fired?  Wait.. wait, let me back up– you initially demanded that the entire staff be fired because your hypocrisy became common knowledge?  Yes, we’re supposed to just take your apology at face value because you signed “pastor” to your holier-than-thou insult.  I’ve heard more credible lies out of toddlers caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Except you’re not cute.

Your actions are inexcusable.  Likewise, a hearty double deuce to Applebee’s–  Once again, a corporate entity has proven that they value the money of a deplorable individual over the work of an employee.  Darden Corporation (Red Lobster, Olive Garden, etc.) is the same way (I know from experience), as are numerous other corporate/franchised restaurants.  The customer can be a walking miscarriage like Alois Bell, and act inappropriately at every turn– and they will fire their employees just to keep their money flowing in the door.

And here we have the face of sanctimony.

I sincerely hope you can never show your face in public again, let alone preach to a congregation, you parsimonious hypocrite.

Alois, who in the Nine Levels of Hell do you think you are?  Seriously?  Your actions are disgusting, your lies are further preposterous, and you destroyed your own reputation– then lied after the fact with a halfassed apology.  It’s people like you that give practicing Christians a bad name– and I’m damn sure that your voicemail message has some trite bullshit about being “highly favored” or “have a blessed day.”  Your words do not match your actions, and I think the final insult in the equation is that you’ve reproduced… not once… not twice… but three times.  I’m sure your children conduct themselves as deplorably as you do. 

… and by the way– it’s nice that you give your proper tithe.  Let me break out the golfer’s clap for you.  You forgot that God doesn’t need to pay bills or rent, like the waitress you got fired– nor the staff you tried to get fired.

I hope you never show your face in public again without receiving your justly deserved etiquette tips.
You clearly need them.


  1. Rachel Dawn says:

    Being a server who has worked in the dregs of corporate restaurant society, I have to say this post has stirred up some serious emotions within me as well. First of all I want to say I have met absolutely delightful people working in the food industry as well as have had regular customers that grew to be considered family in my life. But there is a type of plain evil I have come across throughout the years that I cannot ignore or forget. Over and over again I have witnessed first-hand the deplorable behavior of the public towards individuals who work to serve them. It’s as if a caste system is automatically placed psychologically as soon as the common person enters the door. They sit down, as if on a throne, garbed in royal gowns, ready at any opportunity to have an excuse to scream with their red bloated angry faces “off with their head!!”
    The absolutely disgusting thing I came to find was the hypocrisy of people who proclaimed to be the children of God. Instead of loving one another as they go every Sunday to learn about, I would find screaming, demanding, unthankful, greedy, unforgiving gluttons fresh out of the pulpits. I would see the most hatred and revolt especially on holidays, where the sanctity of the Lord’s unconditional Love was to be celebrated. Most times with these particular ingrates if there is not the most minute of reasons to broadcast a fault of their server below them, a fault will be fabricated just to feed the fire of their unquestioned authority. This authority Mind you, is backed unquestionably by the almighty dollar.
    I think it is very important for people to understand how scary this situation really is. Corporate restaurants view their employees as mere numbers. If one of these numbers upsets their chance in the slightest to losing a customer, even if the customer is wrong, that number is quickly extinguished and replaced. This practice is literally an infringement on a person’s right to support themselves. To me, this is microcosmic example of the mindset we as a people are being subjected to today towards our modern government. It is important to observe, understand, and try to ascend beyond the primitive compulsions of the human psyche because it is disturbing being reminded of George Orwell’s animal farm during every Friday dinner rush.

    • You hit the nail on the head. I worked corporate for many years– and although I do miss the staff/culture behind the scenes… it’s true.

      Waitstaff are treated horribly far more often than they’re treated as equals performing a job. In a privately owned restaurant– the owners/managers are empowered against these sorts of people… but as you said– it’s all about the numbers for the corporate/chain establishments. It’s inexcusable, yet this is the world we live in.

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