Since WordPress apparently still hates me…

Posted: October 28, 2011 in Humor, Rant, Self-Deprecation

… no, seriously, I’ve been working on a post for literally seven freaking days, but I’ve run into a problem.  I know a lot of you like pictures, and the chaotically selective (see: mostly arbitrary) manner I select them has drawn it’s share of traffic.  However, WordPress seems to think the Facebook model of customer support (as in there’s nobody running the ship) is the way to handle things– as they’re MIA until October 29.  I think I’ve kept you all waiting long enough… because you know they won’t be back to work on Saturday.  It’ll be November before they get that insert/upload button fixed… among other things… like links… tags… and yes, I realize I can do these the long way with HTML— but I’m not switching gears from writing, to code, and back again for this stupid little blog.

[Otherwise sarcastic and fitting photo would be here…
but… not even a caption for you!  Thanks, codemonkeys!]

Anyway…  until I can track down a fix— you get to deal with pure textual entertainment.  If it weren’t for the glowing screen in front of me, I’d swear it was the 1940’s or earlier.  However, if that were the case– I’d be overseas running riots on some Axis army somewhere.   Who am I kidding?  I’d probably hulk out like a boss– then eat a 110mm howitzer round to the face.  A guy can dream, can’t he?

That reminds me… Dreams…  All comments about dreaming of having an interface that works in any browser (instead of none of them) aside, I’ve had some pretty effed up dreams lately.  One of them was so epic, I actually woke up laughing.  You read that right, I laughed myself awake.  I can only imagine what my neighbors were thinking.

[Another quasi-witty picture and caption would have gone here…]

I still remember this dream vividly, even two days later.  The ridiculousness started when I realized that I was sitting around a long table in what appeared to be an elementary school classroom.  I know what you’re thinking, “dear God, don’t let him be a father.”  I thought the same thing, but it was almost worse.  I think it was my classroom, because I leaned to the guy on my right (who appeared to be a nondescript, younger, male teacher) and made a comment to the effect of “I have myself totally brainwashed not to swear in this room, it’s really out of character.”

If you’re not suffering from a severe WTF moment, hold on to your butt, because this shit is about to jump the shark.  I looked to my left, and Cortana was there, and she appeared to be a teacher too.  It was one of those “makes sense to the dream” types of things.  So apparently this was some kind of faculty meeting, or school board meeting, I really don’t know– because my grandfather (who was an educator/principal for 30+ years) walked into the room and started the meeting.  Some immemorial conversation ensued, and then it happened.  I found a segue into the conversation, referencing “The Old Landmark” by James Brown.  Yes, I’m a Blues Brothers fanatic (not that abomination BB2K), but I digress.  I no sooner finish singing “Ohhh the Lorrrrd cometh… outta deeeep of night!” does the whole damn room bust out into song.

[I could have had so many links and pictures…
but the codemonkeys screwed the pooch.]

I can’t make this shit up, this came straight from my unconscious mind– which is undeniably a millionfold more twisted than I am.  The whole freaking room broke out into the song, out of nowhere.   At this point, I’m laughing so hard in the dream, I am literally in tears.  I couldn’t breathe, I was laughing so hard.  At this point, I gasped out, “Oh my God… oh my God… I totally didn’t see that coming…”   Laughter continued until I woke up– actually cracking up.

And yes, yesterday was a damn good day as a result of waking up losing my shit.  First words out of my mouth yesterday were, “James f***ing Brown…”

Today, well let’s just say last night I was in a world that must have been created by Adam freaking Sandler– because I was the only damn Italian in a Sandler-esque hyperbolized Jewish setting.

If anyone sees my mind out there, wandering unattended, please point it back to me.  Thanks!


  1. And I thought I had WTF dreams. lol

  2. SB says:

    (… If anyone sees my mind out there, wandering unattended, please point it back to me. Thanks!…)

    Saw it, gave it a cookie, a triple-shot espresso, and a flame thrower, and sent it on it’s merry little way 😉

  3. […] Note:  This has been in the works for over a month, and at least 10 attempts to tag/post/etc… […]

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