Ok, WordPress, WTF?!

Posted: October 2, 2011 in Self-Deprecation
Tags: , , ,

How in the Holy Name of Jesus Heisenberg Christ does my little blog register clicks from a referring engine search for “masturbation at sea”?!  For those of you reading this from active wordpress accounts, you will know what I mean by the “search engine terms” part of the stats page.  For those of you unfamiliar, I can see where hits come from, if the referring link is from a search engine.   One of my biggest referring topics is appropriately “atrophied arm cast.”  Today, I saw a referring link from “masturbation at sea”– with a hit total of two.

Damn skippy.

Who, me? Talk about that? No way... You don't say? Reference heavily in a sarcastic light, of course, but seriously? And up until today, I've never even considered alluding to Jill or Rosie doing work on a boat? How the Hell...?

I’m floored.  Seriously?  Have the machines learned how to interpret comically inspired names for a right (Jill) and left (Rosie) hand?  If they have, you all should be praying for Zombpoc even harder than I am– because when the machines take over, shit will have truly hit numerous fans.  Think about it, up until today, that term has never been put in writing by me… well at least not here.  To refer that term here would have to be inferred.  That’s a subjective call.  Get where I’m going with this, or were my anvil-sized hints bouncing harmlessly off your Neanderthal forehead?

That bit of creepy aside, you know what really bothered me?  Who in the Nine Levels of Hell is searching for “masturbation at sea” anyway?  I mean, the fact that it landed in my square of the ether aside, really?  What is it that confused you, the concept, the mechanics, the ethics?  Seriously, if you’re reading this, and it was you–  I gotta know.  I don’t care if you email me, or leave it as a comment, this is too good to just pass off as a perverted fluke.  Wanna know why?  Whatever search engine led that curious soul here, led it here twice.

You on my level yet?

If your brain doesn't hurt yet, you haven't been paying attention.

I officially have seen everything.

Unplug.

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