Prepping for another epic Halloween…

Posted: September 29, 2011 in Self-Deprecation
Tags: , , , , ,

Some kids love Christmas, those materialistic bastards.  Some kids love Thanksgiving, and we see the folly of those ways rolling around Wal-Mart on power chairs.  Some kids love Valentine’s Day– and if we threw people to the lions in celebration, I would too.  I, however, love Halloween– because it’s carte blanche to do whatever the Hell you want, and the only viable scale of judgement is how well you pulled it off.  That is, of course, if you’re sober enough to notice or care.

Halloween was a kid’s holiday– the older I get, the more I realize that (regardless of its origin) this holiday hits its peak of awesomeness when celebrated by semi-sane adults, often accompanied by holiday-justified levels of liquid libations.  Drinking incentives aside, which is more entertaining (and let’s be honest here):  an 8 year old dressed up as Tinkerbell, or a 28 year old Tinkerbell who’s kinda dressed?  How about a 5 year old Transformer that has a mass-produced quasi-plastic costume, or a 30 year old Transformer that made that shit themselves?  Now, put that into the mindset mentioned previously– when pulled off right, the adult versions are always going to win– unless you’re talking about an infant dressed as a teddy bear, that brat wins everything.  Don’t freaking judge me.

So yeah, I’m kinda overboard for Halloween– and we’re not just talking liver abuse.  I mean, I used to merely like it– and pulled the same old semi-undead crap a few years in a row because it was easy and made up of stuff I already had.  It worked because Halloween means you can just dress like a freak and nobody cares.   After one costume that will forever be left to the annals of myth and booze-haloed folklore– I realized that Halloween could be so much more fun than getting tossed in zany attire.  Hell, last year’s Halloween getup was so epic, it’s what first caught the eye of my girlfriend.

Yeah, the hair and the scythe are real.

This is perhaps the best picture of the detail of costume that I could dig up, and unfortunately it doesn't do the make-up justice-- nor show the blackout contacts. Notice how there's a black wrap around Jill-- she was broken three days before this party. By the way, that's not Guy Fawkes in drag, I crappily photoshopped in an image from deviant art to conceal the identity of the bearded lady... I didn't think she wanted his identity revealed. (Before you ask, it was an evil circus. Death had to be there, because there are no safety nets. Duh.)

So, this year’s theme– as stated in prior entries– is a zombie theme.  With the friends throwing said party, and the crew that attends every freaking year, this is going to be pretty sweet.  Not to mention, it’ll be the first anniversary of when the girlfriend and met— so we are going as epic zombie hunters.   I do not screw around when making costumes, and these are probably going to be my best yet.  We’re talking like ridiculously over the top like some diabolical hybrid of Tallahassee from Zombieland crossed with Punisher— only farther into the realm of DIY badassery.  Since it was requested, here’s a shot of what I’m starting with– and why I’m dedicating an entire entry before October blindsides me.

It begins.

Yes, I realize my carpet is a color akin to puke and/or baby shit. No, I do not care that the diagram looks like it was done by a drunk five year old. You get the point, and get to see the "before picture."

As if my inner geek wasn’t already showing by now, and it wasn’t already agonizingly obvious that I’m more than just entertained by the concept of a Zombie Apocalypse (shit, I’m hoping for it, I’m not kidding anyone here)–  well there you are.  I’m making a combat duster that isn’t just going to look bad ass– it is probably going to be classified as a weapon just by itself.  Not to mention, it’s going to have reinforced seams, as well as a ridiculous amount of carrying capacity.  Thank you, Halloween, you’ve provided a “justifiable” reason for creating this.  Don’t argue with me, it is!

Damn, rough crowd today.

Thankfully, the coat cost like $39 bucks, so I don’t feel bad about perverting it from a fairly nice coat– to something that screams, “Expect something insane.”  Pair that up with an array of improvised prop weaponry and concealed alcohol reserves (No, I’m not packing the scythe again this year, but I like where your head is…), and you’re gonna have a matched pair of awesome costumes for the two of us.  After all, it’ll be great physical therapy, doing the small work to get everything right.  It’s not like I’m able to work yet.  Maybe I should actually do something productive, like actually write some prose.

Maybe after I hit the gym.


  1. Did I mention cosplayers kinda scare me with how detailed they can do shit? You’re getting damn close for the third year in a row. lol

  2. […] yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for Halloween.  Halloween, as many of you know, is my favoritestest holiday.  That’s not a typo, […]

  3. […] episodes of) in the middle of our buddy’s father’s funeral– because I wore my combat duster to the wake.  Hey, it looks damn good with a black suit, black shirt, and black tie– and is […]

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