Too Much Freaking TV

Posted: August 19, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

So after my friend’s laziness advice was taken to heart, I went back to my usual disabled activities (or lack thereof).  Granted, that includes a great deal of time aimlessly surfing like one of the writers for Tosh.0, Rosie’s exercise regimen implied therein, and a wholly excessive amount of TV.  The latter activity’s repetitive commercials have totally killed my buzz.  First off, apparently anyone can get into college– or at least that’s what these particular asinine commercials want you to believe.

Yay.  You fail.  Again.

Yes, apparently you can failtacular the Hell out of high school– but this broad has the easy way out!  Act now, we have a yellow brick road just for you!

Yes, I fought my way to my B.A.– yet here I am, on workman’s comp, injured while working a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my level of education or my educational field.  I don’t see anyone swooping in to do a thing for me, and I don’t expect it (but damn would it be sweet).  Every damn insomniac night, Jill remembers how to clench a fist around her fiberglass prison when these stupid ads come on.  Comically/Tragically (not sure which), they play up that she went to high school, complete with a cutsey-poo “didn’t do great.”   I could go on a derisive tirade over how these commercials, and the entire concept in general, is a gigantic money pit–  but what would be the point?  It’s not going to give me more activities that I can do that’re one-hand compatible.

Of course, the mind-numbing jingle isn’t the worst commercial out there.   At least that one is preaching some self-improvement.  Give me a second to stop laughing here, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.  Anyway, dummy-girl up above pales in rage-inspiring comparison to this bastion of zero-responsibility living.

Just.  Die.

Douchebaggery of the Highest Order.

I may be layed-up, but seriously?  Seriously?  The previous commercial pisses me off more due to it’s inane approach to appeal to the lowest common denominator (and a miracle promise of a $25k raise just for a degree.  I don’t need to say much more)…  This ginger bastard is scraping the bottom of decency.  Scratch that, decency has jack crap to do with it.  This is the ultimate in accountability dodging.  This kind of shit is a slap in the face to anyone who works a job.  Sure, just skip on your taxes, this assjack will make it a-ok.  Everyone else working will foot the bill, it’s perfectly alright– because you apparently deserve respect.  How about treating the rest of us with respect and paying your freaking taxes (like the rest of us), and then you don’t have to fear the IRS (like the rest of us)?  Golly gee whiz, I think I’ve found one of the more obvious holes in America’s fiscal sieve– and my forte is writing… with one and a half hands no less.  Suck on that, Treasury Department.  Pay me.

Jesus High-Sticking Christ on a Zamboni…  I need to get away from the freaking TV, or go on another Netflix and porn binge, before I see that uppity knocked-up broad on the BeenVerified commercials again.  I might hulk out from my allergy to stupid.

I miss being active, and trying to stay loaded is getting expensive.   I think my highway to crazy is finally turning into an Autobahn to Arkham.

Unplug.

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Comments
  1. […] lot of TV.  When I say a lot of TV, I mean more than a kid with crappy parents.  Then again, from posts like this, you’d probably figure these facts to be self-evident.  I only say these things because […]

  2. […] Cracked.com to accept a pitch.).  However, that just means I’m going every bit as crazy as I around the beginning of this whole blog thing I’m doing– except I’m able bodied and have nothing to do […]

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