Gimp at a concert! Unbelievable win!

Posted: August 4, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Yes, I have been gone, but rest assured– I did not end up with another disability.  Shit.  I never thought about it that way.  I’m not quite gimped enough to warrant a blue parking pass to hang from my rear-view mirror.  It’s not like I have a condition or injury that would allow me legally designated parking.  I mean, it’s only my dominant hand/arm in a cast– not a leg.  I don’t even have a heart condition, back problem, morbid obesity (Totally protected in many states, seriously.  Way to go, America.), or anything to do with the Final Destination movies (Again, way to go America.).

Abomination...

No. Just, NO. First was a novel concept, but seriously? NO. Go stand in the corner.

Bad ideas and parking passes aside, the cast and sling were a smashing success for the concert I hit two nights ago.  Haven’t hit a big venue like this one since Kiss/Aerosmith a few years ago.  Yes, Journey/Foreigner/Night Ranger totally kicked ass (as I was already expecting), and had the place packed.  This was a classic 80’s venue that didn’t disappoint, where I was of a rare age that was under 45 and over 15.  Unlike Kiss/Aerosmith, where I was still a viable human being and had to intermittently shoulder-check my way through gaggles of drunken skullets, I was given a wide berth.  Why?  Apparently a cast in a sling is every bit as good as a handicap parking tag.

Cue nefarious laughter here.  No, I did not abuse my infirmity, but you bet your sweet ass that I enjoyed being able to walk, sit, and stand without any schmucks running into me.  On the downside, sweating in that itchy fiberglass armour (as has previously been referred to as a cast) was horrid.  Oh yes, cue in some rain on that.  Normal concerts, with stupid levels of humidity (and ultimately rain), featuring drunken mothers with jailbait attachments create photogenic comedy.  Make it a massively 80’s kind of thing, complete with a ton of guys dressed in classic attire, and I should still be rolling.

Nope.  Not having it, great concert or not, I was more preoccupied with the itch swamp that lurked within the very same cast that I was trying to protect from the rain.  Bitching aside, it was a pretty killer concert.  I was disappointed with one thing, though…

WHO SET THIS THING ON HEAD GAMES?!

No freaking Foreigner Belt. DAMMIT.

I should probably stick to 80’s bands for the time being.  Not like I could handle a mosh pit right now as it is, cast/sling pass or not.

Unplug.

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