Another solar migraine. Yays.

Posted: August 1, 2011 in Uncategorized


If there’s one thing that I really, truly miss (besides working out, cooking, hot days, my glorious curls, etc.), it’s my freaking ubiquitous sunglasses.  I’m the guy Corey Hart wrote about with his best known hit.  So what if I was four when it came out?  It’s still damn true!  Don’t look at me funny like you don’t know what I’m talking about.  Need a refresher?



And I have been known to do so.

Now that you’re done facepalming over the missed 80’s reference (and I know you missed it, don’t lie), I can go back to lamenting.  Why have my almost trademark sunglasses left my visage, you ask?  Quite simply, myopia.  For the uneducated lot out there, nearsightedness.  I can see fairly well without a prescription, but in the grander scheme of things I like to not eyeball something at a distance, get a few dozen feet away just to groan, “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!”    Seeing is a good thing, and I am just a touch too nearsighted to just screw it and do without glasses or contacts.  My corneas and retinas likewise appreciate my consideration in this matter.

With Jill completely immobilized, and the damn cast in the way, I don’t have a prayer of putting in contacts.  So there go the sunglasses, right?  Mostly, yes, however I do have photogrey lenses that get dark in direct sunlight.  I’m old, I’m allowed.  There’s one ginormous drawback to these miracles of modern science:  they don’t work in a goddamn car!  You have to be in direct, unadulterated, unfiltered daylight for them to give you any sort of relief.  Any sort of glass in the way, be it automotive or residential, will block the needed UV rays to darken ’em up.  Whole shitload of good that does me when driving face-first into a freaking sunset!

I need my damn shades, end of story.  First and foremost, my eyes are freaking photophobic– meaning that I get ridiculous migraines when in bright light for very long.  Think about that sunset, and now think about my gimptacular arm flipping off that blazing ball of nuclear fire in the sky.   These photogrey lenses are about as useful as Marlee Matlin judging a vocal competition.

On top of that primary utilitarian purpose, and the very obvious vanity reasons, do you realize how many times my shades have kept me from getting cracked across the face?

’nuff said.

This.  Sucks.


  1. SB says:

    Gee, if only you knew a good optometrist who’d be willing to help you out every once in a while and take the 2 seconds to pop them in for you… Or if you could refrain from antagonizing said optometrist for more than 2 seconds at a time. Or if you could realize that asking for said help from said person is a smart utilization of unique resources, and not an affront to your manly pride —

    — oh crap. Sorry. I wandered off into make-believe land. My bad.

    Just trying to help you get back to you BAMF self.

  2. Sounds like someone I live with. He was lucky enough to get the same type of lens you’ve got and yeah… worthless any where other than looking right at the sun pretty much.

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